5 Mindful Steps to Reconnecting to Your Body After Cancer, or Anything Bad
No matter your gender, body image is something that we deal with from childhood. Society, and the media boldly dictate and ‘sells you’ on who you are, exacerbating the reasons why one may be unhappy with one’s own body. These things set the stage for what our middle school selves battle with, and whatever our perspectives on aging end up being. Because each of these ideals can result in an incredibly harsh and unhealthy self-deprecating practice that's internalized— you have to learn to define yourself.
As an athletic kid early on, my body had always been trustworthy and performed, and yet, as that had become part of my identity, I would also carry negative ideals well into adulthood. It was quite humbling to look back at what I had deemed as so imperfect, through the lens of a cancer diagnosis and the health that had been compromised. In that unfortunate event though, a form of body image therapy took place, making what WAS, look pretty damn good from afar. With a drastic shift in perspective, suddenly, humbled and faced with what’s most important, we soon realize what's actually okay.
So then, how do you reconnect to and learn to trust the body and issues that caused you grief?
Vaguely, meditation and yoga have been the recent go to suggestion for easing the strain of painful events and chronic illness, but more specifically, this is what I encourage:
1. Accept and understand that you did not choose what happened to you, even if it is cancer.
Despite any horrible choices for treatment, or any big life changes placed in front of you— what you deem most important will help you choose what to do next.
2. Appreciate that you still have this body.
This can be a tough one, but be thankful that it exists at all. Be grateful for all that it has done for you so far. It's the only body you have, treat it well. You can consider body healing meditation, mantras OR, simply giving yourself a break to shift your mindset. Celebrate you.
3. Don’t fade. You are here.
Be empowered by the fact that you can show up, and out for yourself. That can mean different things. Sometimes it will mean crying, screaming, being angry or sad. You can hit pillows, throw stuff, journal, or tell a friend— but try not to take it out on others. What happened is not their fault either. They may be responding to their own pain. It’s important that you take up space and be exactly who you are.
4. Above all else, your main job is to keep your stress down.
Anxiety is very common, yet stress doesn't make anything better. My go to for grounding and comfort is to implement the 8 Limbs of Yoga which ask that you don’t isolate yourself. Find people, or activities with whom you feel a sense of connection and community— family, friends, a support group, a book club or knitting circle. Move your body in some way. Find ease and space through the breath. Spend time with yourself getting clear on what you’re feeling, needing, wanting, and simply acknowledge that you are indeed here to create a peace and balance that provides a foundation from which to think and act clearly. And, do all the things that bring you joy.
5. Yoga— is about what is most relevant to your health, not the fancy poses.
Everyone's cancer, or bad life experiences are different, and while early detection and clarity are important for all, having practical tools to help you bounce back not only physically, but maybe more importantly, mentally and emotionally— is about PREPARATION + STARTING. To stave off depression and disappointment, fear and compromise, I pull out my organized 8 Limb practice in the moment of what is in front of me, and what is within my control.
Before, during and after cancer, I've learned that it's about more than just attempting to heal the body through "yoga", meditation and positive thinking. In my experience, from which I’ve found immense benefit, there must be a practical and targeted mindfulness routine that is easy and consistent with regard to your vision, participation, desired outcome, and control over your own actions.